


Pen Pal

by anderswrites



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Letters, Logan Needs A Hug, Logan centric, Logan's an idiot, Love at First Sight, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Pen Pals, Sad Logan, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, they're all idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 05:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19761598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anderswrites/pseuds/anderswrites
Summary: Logan feels ignored by his friends, so he turned to a pen pal. He thought his friends wouldn’t notice or care. But they did. Oh, they really did.





	Pen Pal

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Platonic Loceit, eventual LAMP
> 
> Warnings: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, signs of panic/anxiety attacks, self-deprecating thoughts, rants, Deceit, sympathetic Deceit
> 
> This is my first fic on AO3! I'm pretty excited.  
> Watpad: LeoValdezFlamingFire  
> Tumblr: anderswrites

Logan was lonely.

Such an illogical feeling; he lived with three other people after all. They were all amazing people, but Logan, well, he wasn’t. At least, not in their eyes. He tried so hard to prove himself to them. 

They had all met in college. Logan was there two years early due to graduating high school very early. They all ended up rooming together. Logan almost smiled when he thought back on the confused expression on Roman’s face when a teenager walked into their dorm saying he was their new roommate. He remembered, with a bittersweet tinge, how they were all so impressed with him at first. He hadn’t been expecting praise or attention, but it felt so good to be recognized. 

Whatever he did was never good enough for his parents. So he’d talked less. Slept less. Lived less.

Then he met Roman Virgil and Patton. He found a real family. He laughed more. Smiled more. Lived more.

They all became really close friends, almost as if they’d known each other for years. They could come home every day, feeling truly at home. They knew each other’s habits and ticks, what brought them up or tore them down. Things were good.

Of course, it didn’t last.

After a few months of this, Roman asked Patton to be his boyfriend. That shouldn’t change anything, though! Logan was truly happy for the new couple. He pushed down the strange, uncomfortable feelings that sparked and focused instead on his classes. A little more studying couldn’t be too bad. He found himself spending more time with Virgil, simply existing in each other’s company. They still had “family” dinners every night, but things had a slightly different atmosphere. Virgil always seemed to be glaring at Roman, snapping at Patton, leaving early. It was making Logan increasingly worried for his friend, so he made a mental note to ask him about it the following night.

He never got a chance, though. It seems that Virgil finally snapped, shouting that he was jealous in the middle of dinner. Roman and Patton looked, confused, at each other before asking Virgil to clarify. He explained how he wanted to be apart of the relationship. He loved both of them. He ranted, saying he was sick of hiding his feelings.

Finally, Virgil seemed to have said all he wanted to. When he stopped talking, there was complete silence. His breathing quickened, bordering on hyperventilating. Logan stood up, stepping forward to help him out of the grips of a panic attack, but he was cut off by Roman rushing forward to embrace Virgil. Patton followed quickly, wrapping his arms around both of them.

Logan silently excused himself, leaving the three to talk alone. 

His stomach was churning as he shut his door and sat on his bed. 

After all this time of them being the best friends he’d ever had, he was back to being alone. It shouldn’t hurt like it did. After all, they weren’t trying to shut him out. It had just happened by chance. It would most likely get better over time.

Except it didn’t.

As if Patton and Roman dating wasn’t painful enough, all three of his friends together was agony. There was no denying it, he was horribly lonely. So, Logan did what he knew best: research. After hours of looking up solutions on his laptop, he found one solution that stuck out to him. 

A pen pal.

It was perfect. Logan could easily find someone to talk to without worry of breaking up his friends. There was practically no chance of simply finding a new friend in his school. Everyone already knew him as a stuck-up know-it-all (which he really tried not to be), making his odds rather low. 

He searched up pen pal websites with good reviews, eventually finding one that seemed good. It supposedly matched your interests with other users, finding ideal people. He typed up a small summary of himself and submitted it. For the first time in a while, he went to sleep with a small seedling of hope in his heart.

—————————–

A few days later, Logan was sitting at his desk, finishing his history homework. He was just putting his textbook away when he heard a ‘Ping!’ from his phone. 

Congratulations! We have found a possible pen pal for you! If you have any questions, text ‘HELP’ to (xxx) xxx-xxxx!

Logan couldn’t help the hopeful grin that bloomed across his face. He quickly opened the app and read over the profile.

Name: Dee

Age: 17

Gender: Depends

Interests/Likes: Sarcasm, Mental Health, Chocolate, Chocolate, More Chocolate, Deep Talks, Etc.

Note: The color I sign my name with represents my gender for that day.

The summary also included their address.

Logan, too excited to wait, immediately grabbed paper and a pen, starting to write a letter.

He addressed an envelope and wrote Dee’s name on the top of the paper. Then he paused. As much as he wanted to dive straight into a rant, he should at least get to know Dee first. So Logan wrote a few paragraphs about his daily life, asking some questions for Dee to answer. He sat, writing at his desk for the next few hours. Finally, when he was satisfied, he sealed and stamped the envelope. 

Which is exactly when he was hit with a wave of anxiety.

What if Dee thought he was annoying? What if he never responded? What if the others found out? His parents never liked it when he talked to other people. What if his friends felt betrayed and kicked him out?

Logan took a few deep breaths, counting in his head. 

4, 7, 8.

It would be alright. If Dee didn’t respond, Logan could always find a new pen pal.

4, 7, 8.

Logan would be careful. When wasn’t he? If Logan didn’t want his friends to find out, they most likely wouldn’t.

4, 7, 8.

Patton, Roman, and Virgil weren’t like that anyways. They may have been impulsive, but they weren’t like his parents at all. It would be fine.

4, 7, 8.

Logan stood up to stretch and yawn. He checked the time. 9:00. He missed dinner. That was alright, though. Logan doubted they would care much if they did notice. It was more time for them to spend together without his intrusion. He sighed, deciding to go apologize and join the others. Maybe it was still early enough for them to forgive him for missing the first hour of Family Night.

—————————–

Roman sent yet another worried glance towards Logan’s bedroom. The teen hadn’t come out since school had ended. “Maybe he’s just sick?” Patton suggested, despite the fearful look on his face. Virgil pulled his knees to his chest, sighing and resting his head on top. 

“Did we do something wrong?” Both of Virgil’s boyfriends rushed to comfort him, but they were thinking the same things. All three had developed feelings for their friend, but as they grew stronger, Logan seemed to drift farther away. They had all been planning this Family Night for weeks, the eldest three hoping to find an opportunity to confess their feelings that night. It was the first Family Night Logan had skipped since he first arrived. 

“Let’s just give him some more time. We’ll tell him soon.” Patton said, the others agreeing. They put on a Disney movie, falling asleep before it finished. Completely unaware of their friend coming out a few minutes later.

Completely unaware of Logan’s hurt feelings as he went back into his room.


End file.
